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GO SLOOOOOOOWWWWW

Posted by Chris on August 13, 2015
Posted in: Uncategorized.

I am slowing down or trying to. I am reading Annie Proulx’s “Postcards” and I am trying to go slow. I read a lot and sometimes I am charging through the pages, just wanting the story and getting angry at the descriptive words in the way, just tell me what happens dammit. Proulx’s words are marvelous and I would miss so much if I read them in my usual race to the end, it is the journey, I must remember it is the journey, take the long way round this time. so when I find myself speed reading I stop and go back a page or two. I need to do this in my life also. I am forcing my way through projects getting angry at my body because it cannot keep up and of course injuring myself so that I must lay on the couch for two or maybe three days to recover. My body knows what my mind cannot accept. I am aging, I must go slow. when I am forced by my body to slow down it is really a blessing. I take several days to complete a project that formerly I would do in one day. I find the slowness can be sweet, I see so many things I would have crashed over in my rush and I have a lovely time. For some reason I cannot sustain this and fall back into my old pattern of rush crash and burn. RCB syndrome as I call it and once again I am angry at my body. I am ultimately angry at being seventy. This is an ignorant way to conduct my life and I am missing the sweet time that is at this age my due. I am going to start with this book no matter how long it takes and just maybe if I can keep my mind calm it will roll over into the rest of my life.

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